Tag Archives: sadness

The Days I Dread.

I will never forget,
those days of dread.
I blinked back tears
a million fears,
saw crushed veneer,
I was almost dead.
But I lay hanging
by a thread,
Dangling, dangerously
like the thoughts in my head.

Pain, rejections,
Drugs, injections
Confusion, haze
A never ending maze.
I thought, fought
dried up like a drought,
never wanting to wake up
again.

And then you walked in,
Through the pain, the sins
and you made me smile,
from within.
I learnt to live,
I learnt to give,
A part of me wanted to breathe
again.

You shone bright
All in spite,
of dark rooms
with flickering lights.
You were the best thing
I had ever met,
How can I forget
those days of dread?

And now you lie
In a hospital bed,
Not a word, no sign
of anything said.
Your skin untouched,
but your soul has bled.
You are quiet,
But I can hear you cry out for help.

They told me why,
silence is your drape
6 monsters,
took turns to rape.
Used, abused,
no escape.
Battered, shattered
You screamed for help,
It never came.

How I wish
I could save,
Your life, your essence,
from a fate so grave.
Something, anything
to keep you brave,
as your hope, your senses cripple
and give away.

I hate how much
I couldn’t do.
Couldn’t give back
how much I got from you.
You wiped those tears
when I was crying,
Now I’m alive
and you are dying.
But I’m going to sit here,
and wait.
And keep trying
to delve just once
Into your head
Repeat every single word you said
Hoping, praying
It brings you back from the dead
But right now
as I sit beside your bed
Time inching, crawling
limping ahead,
I can’t help remembering
those days of dread
The ones that I
will never forget.

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Silence.

Deathly silence broken by hurried footsteps, and the pained moaning of an iron gate,
The young man ushered in faster than the wind, smiled, then said “Sorry, I’m late.”
The cold night did nothing to deter the warmth in his smile, as he stood there all alone,
He turned and pulled out a white sheet from his bag, and spread it across the stone.

He removed a gray candle and carefully kept it, on the stone and under skies equally gray,
When it refused to burn he chuckled to himself, “Well no more light in my life anyway.”
He pulled out a bouquet of blood red roses, and lay them out across the flawless white sheet,
“Why the stone face? he laughed and said, “I’ve been looking forward to this all week!”

For the next 2 hours he spoke to the stone, mesmerized, laughing and talking as if under a spell,
But after a point his voice started to quiver, then complete silence as his eyes started to swell.
He waited for the silence to sink into his soul, as his eyes tried to blink out the tears,
He stared at her tombstone in front of his eyes, wishing he could erase the numbers in her death year.

He remembered when this silence was non-existent, when the sound of her laughter lit up the room,
Unlike the candle on her grave did now, he loved how her gray eyes danced to dispel the gloom.
But now she lay buried in the silence of the graveyard, and nothing could drown out the gray,
Nothing could save him from the sorrows now, and no one could take them away.

“I wish you weren’t so cold sometimes” he said, as the shivers finally kissed his spine,
He got up slowly and then quietly kissed her grave, “I’ll be back for you in a week’s time.”
The footsteps faded into the distance, as the iron gate moaned to a still,
Her grave once again receded into peace, and  her soul into not so eternal bliss.