Tag Archives: death

The Meaning Behind.

The wind was blowing my cloak away, but I wasn’t the least bit bothered

The events of the past day were flashing by, it had left me firmly smothered.

Last afternoon before he left to board the flight, I had taken all my anger out

Let all my ire and emotions out in the open, leaving not a single shadow of doubt.

 

I was tired of being told what to do time and again, so I decided to make my case

Whatever frustrations lay dead and buried, had been revived when I saw his face.

“I’m just done being your son for now, all right?, I want to be the master of my own free will.

How will I learn to live and fight for tomorrow, if you keep me bound to the same old drill?”

 

“I swear I hate you like I hate hell Dad, I regret I didn’t stomp my foot down

Thanks for making me feel like a humiliated jerk, no better than a circus clown.”

I remember all that he did was turn around, and tiredly shake his head

His pale eyes gleamed right into mine, and this is what he said.

 

“I’m sorry if I hurt you in all these ways son, I promise I meant no pain

I’m sorry for the times I stressed you out, if you don’t forgive me I’ll ask again.

Thats when he turned around and closed the door, and everything went quiet

I went to swim in my pool of anger, all his theories.. I wouldn’t buy it.

 

And then my eyes grew really heavy, and they slowly drooped until they closed

I didn’t know how much time had passed, so much pressure it had posed.

Then I saw my cell phone slowly blinking, and I stretched my arm to reach

Saw “Message from Dad” on the screen, what did he have left now to preach?

 

But on impulse I pressed the read button, half of me not wanting to browse it

I decided if it got too lame and boring, I would just immediately douse it.

But as I read the first line of the message, I couldn’t take my eyes off the text

My eyes were staring at my phone in disbelief, all I recall was pressing “next”.

 

“Dear son I won’t be here for long now, I certainly don’t have time in my pockets

My plane slid off the runway 2 mins ago, in a few the temperature will soar like rockets

All I wanted to say was that I’m really sorry, I never meant to cause you pain

I was just worried about your future, cause there are millions who miss their train.

 

All I ever wanted was to see you standing, on your own two feet with pride

To have everything to you ever wished for, from God and fate by your side.

I know there were times I was blatantly rude, moments when I seemed incessantly rough

I did it all to make sure that when you get the call, you wouldn’t fall short of being too tough.

 

So if there was any way I could pray for forgiveness, I’m doing so in my final seconds

Before the hand of destiny lulls me to sleep, before death’s shadow finally beckons.

Do always know I’ll watch you from above, to guide you whenever it is required

I hope I have enough experience in my armoury, which in 40 long years I acquired

 

I love you a lot son and always will, don’t you ever even dare forget that

However bad and horrible things get between us, however ugly our spat.

Tell your Mom I love her a lot too, please don’t think I’m leaving you in dearth

You’ve had my love and utmost respect, ever since the time of your birth.”

 

The message ended there but my finger kept pressing, the button hoping there was more

knowing I was reading my father’s last thoughts, made my heart break and mind go sore.

Even though we had our share of fights, his last message filled me with pride

Because he wanted only the best for me, right until the moment he died.

 

So thats how the last day had passed, the wind still breezed through my cloak

The clouds grew darker by the minute, the rain fell on me and I was soaked.

I have no grave to pay my respects to, his body wasn’t found they stated

The fire from the plane had done his last rites, by God’s own hands cremated.

 

Advertisements

Silence.

Deathly silence broken by hurried footsteps, and the pained moaning of an iron gate,
The young man ushered in faster than the wind, smiled, then said “Sorry, I’m late.”
The cold night did nothing to deter the warmth in his smile, as he stood there all alone,
He turned and pulled out a white sheet from his bag, and spread it across the stone.

He removed a gray candle and carefully kept it, on the stone and under skies equally gray,
When it refused to burn he chuckled to himself, “Well no more light in my life anyway.”
He pulled out a bouquet of blood red roses, and lay them out across the flawless white sheet,
“Why the stone face? he laughed and said, “I’ve been looking forward to this all week!”

For the next 2 hours he spoke to the stone, mesmerized, laughing and talking as if under a spell,
But after a point his voice started to quiver, then complete silence as his eyes started to swell.
He waited for the silence to sink into his soul, as his eyes tried to blink out the tears,
He stared at her tombstone in front of his eyes, wishing he could erase the numbers in her death year.

He remembered when this silence was non-existent, when the sound of her laughter lit up the room,
Unlike the candle on her grave did now, he loved how her gray eyes danced to dispel the gloom.
But now she lay buried in the silence of the graveyard, and nothing could drown out the gray,
Nothing could save him from the sorrows now, and no one could take them away.

“I wish you weren’t so cold sometimes” he said, as the shivers finally kissed his spine,
He got up slowly and then quietly kissed her grave, “I’ll be back for you in a week’s time.”
The footsteps faded into the distance, as the iron gate moaned to a still,
Her grave once again receded into peace, and  her soul into not so eternal bliss.


Living for Love.

The pain shot through his body once more, his guts felt like they were on fire,

He didn’t know why or where exactly he was, everything around him was going haywire.

Blinded right now by the fine lines of age, which strangely never showed on his beautiful face,

He lay there struggling to control his fears, that this was perhaps the end of his days.

 

And suddenly he heard that amazing voice, quivering with so much grief that it ached,

“Hang in there sweetheart!” he heard her cry, he knew he had to survive for her sake.

His mind went back to their very first meeting, he was a little ball of fur just 2 weeks old,

He was blind then too but he heard her squeal, he remembered those seconds he spent in her hold.

 

Those moments of blindness felt surprisingly easy, her voice was the one thing that guided his being,

He loved feeling the warmth of her embrace, and how it overshadowed his need for seeing.

He remembered the first time he opened his eyes, eager to see the source of all the care,

A little girl stood beaming in front of his eyes, and all he could do then was stare.

 

Her smile was as warm as her million embraces, she radiated a glow that made time stand still,

He couldn’t recall being happier all his life, his tail was wagging like a windmill.

She lifted him up at least 5 feet off the ground, so he could gaze into those enchanting eyes,

“You’re so cute!” she screamed again and again, she was oblivious to her own beauty he realized.

 

The love between them stretched beyond infinity, to a point where they couldn’t exist without each other,

She was his mom, his dad, his sister, his lover, and he was her precious inseparable little brother.

They both grew up and grew even closer, something they both thought was impossible at the start,

He would lay at her lap after a long day of doing nothing, and she would pat him and pour out her heart.

 

She knew he understood not a single word she spoke, but her face portrayed a million emotions,

It smiled, it fell, it laughed, it swelled, after which he licked it (it tasted of make up and sunscreen lotion).

She scratched him always in all the right places, she even knew his favorite flavor of dog food,

In 13 years he never spoke a word that told her that, yet somehow she always understood.

 

Rage, chaos, heartbreaks- He’d seen it all, he watched himself crumble whenever she cried,

Sometimes he wished he was human so he could talk, and be more than just a listener at her side.

After all she’d done so much more for him he felt, those infinite smiles, the talking, a million miles of walking,

Of covering his ears when the thunder scared him, and sneaking biscuits into his Christmas stocking.

 

He remembered when his body became frailer, and when age started to hamper his sight,

She stood right beside him all day and night, whispering to him throughout his miserable plight.

Things never got better after that point, he knew he was now in an unwinnable fight,

His kidney failed and left him in pain, his stomach cramped and robbed his appetite.

 

Still she comforted him every minute of the day, patted out the creases of his constant frowns,

But it hurt him to know he was hurting her, every night he heard the sounds of her breaking down.

Then today it had all gone horribly wrong, as they rushed him through the hospital door,

He knew he had been pushed to the line beyond which he just couldn’t endure any more.

 

But her voice and the memories kept him alive, he wanted to keep fighting inspite of knowing it was tough,

Then he heard her footsteps come ever so close, as she whispered “Love, you’ve done enough.”

The wave of emotions that pushed him back, he really couldn’t bring himself to explain,

On one hand he was relieved she understood, on the other leaving her behind would be more pain.

 

Then suddenly he felt a little needle like prick, slowly penetrating one of his veins,

He could hear her sobs reach hysteria now, as the hour glass of life counted it’s final grains.

That moment overpowered his sense of calm, he knew that she’d notice his distress was showing,

He wanted to hear one last thing from her, and he wasn’t leaving without her knowing.

“I’ll never love anyone like I’ve loved you.” she whispered, she held his paws and then she weeped,

He heard those words and smiled in peace, and then drifted off into eternal sleep.