Tag Archives: betrayal

A Cold Day in Hell.

A little piece of your selfish heart, was all I set out to borrow,

But all you ever left me with, was this river full of sorrow.

You made me feel I was special, I guess they were blatant lies,

Honeyed words which meant nothing, yet they left me mesmerized.

 

Was the burden of expectations too heavy, for a man you claimed to be?

I’m the one carrying all of them now, with no one to turn to but me.

How is it that after all that you said to me, one night was all you craved?

I thought you were a man of your words, from the things you said you braved.

 

I can’t even describe the kind of joy I had, when I was told I’d have your kid,

I felt it was the most special gift we ever got, amongst all things we ever did.

Why was it that you left us then, was it because of something that I lack?

Because one moment you were next to me, then you vanished behind back.

 

Now I stand in this lonely clinic, and the reason you left unfurled,

Now I’m ready to kill what we made, even before it could see the world.

The sympathy in the doctor’s eyes, just couldn’t be any more fake,

All I wanted was to try and muster all the courage I’d need to take.

 

I don’t know if there’s a single moment, that in your time with me you treasure,

Or that you did it all to get me in bed for one stupid, carnival of pleasure?

Where is your guilt and your conscience? Don’t you ever feel a bit ashamed?

It’s impossible that you’re even human, if all those demons inside you’ve tamed.

 

It’s not just my mind you’ve played with, every part of me feels abused,

I feel like some kind of plastic bag, that you throw away after it’s used.

I never knew you could stoop so low and that you’d turn into such a creep,

To love me for my body and not my mind, you give a new definition to cheap.

 

But you know what happened that night when I was supposed to kill our child?

Something stirred deep inside of me, and like your feelings it wasn’t mild.

The voice inside so rightly said, that things would look up real soon,

I would reach the top again, just like the sun did everyday at noon.

 

So I walked out of the clinic door once more, the baby untouched and free from grief,

The clean blood running through its malformed veins, nothing like it’s father’s, the thief.

I guess among all this torture I went through, I learnt to hold on a little bit longer,

And holding on to something I really love, made me just that little bit stronger.

 

But some things are never meant to be, so I made the harder choice,

I had to let my lovely baby go, but I promised I’d make no noise.

Beause I stand alone in my life, getting money to survive on was rare,

And who else would my baby look up to, except me, for the love and care?

 

What will I tell him when he grows up, about his father who was never there?

I guess every child has one by their side, would the absence of his be fair?

All these things they pricked me, pulled my mind and heart to pieces,

There just seemed no right or wrong, no proper, logical thesis.

 

So I stood outside the clinic once more, the tears filled my eyes to the brim,

Everything that seemed sorted out before, suddenly had turned so grim.

I can’t bear to see my own child out in the cold, grappling with life to struggle,

Breadwinner, son, husband, protector… just seemed too much stuff to juggle.

 

So I built up that strength to walk through, sad but clear in my intentions,

I wasn’t going to change my mind this time, it was bereft of all pretensions.

The doctor and the nurse’s faces again, hid behind emotions built with lies,

I could hardly have cared any less.. I was making the ultimate sacrifice.

 

I pulled on the patients robe, fully damp… with tears and sweat as slick as gel,

I lay down on the operation table, for the beginning of a very cold day in hell.

 

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Vengeance.

Even the moonlight refused to touch her, as she paced quietly within the dark,

Her heart was trying to ignite a fire, but her mind couldn’t create a spark.

Then her half awake trance shook her, as she collapsed under the barrage of lies,

The picture of her husband kissing another woman, moved tauntingly in front of her eyes.

 

With rage infused in every breath she walked, fuelled by thoughts that drove her insane,

She looked around for anything that would help her tonight, in endlessly prolonging the pain.

At last she found what she was looking for, as she opened the diminutive box of wood,

The chopping knife gleamed with menacing intent, even in the pitch dark where she stood.

 

Her steps betrayed not a sound to the silence, as she climbed to the bedroom door,

She quietly pushed the door and it opened, she felt like a predator anticipating gore.

She looked at him turn happily in slumber, as she softly tied his hands to the bed,

She looked at the sharp knife in her hand, wishing it was a butcher’s knife instead.

 

She hissed “WAKE UP!” with a tone so cold, he woke up with a start, fearing the worst,

He noticed his hands were tied to the bed, then he saw the knife and his heart nearly burst.

She took the pictures and showed him one by one, as his eyes shamefully admitted defeat,

She savoured the sweat rolling down his head, and his chest heaving frantically to breathe.

 

And before the first scream could escape his lips, she stuffed a cloth right down his mouth,

No one was going to change her mind tonight, no plea for mercy would create a doubt.

Her fingers clasped around the chopping knife, it’s edge barely revealing her hand’s quiver.

She pressed it down, and wrote “Cheat” on his head, as blood flowed down his face like a river.

 

She saw his eyes widen and scream with regret, as her tears fell down on her merciless hand,

But the pain of being disgustingly cheated upon, made her cruel actions easier to understand.

She etched every letter with a spiteful vengeance, his muffled cries left her distantly unfazed,

Tonight she would brand him for everyone to see, with a mark which would never be erased.

 

She got up with her thirst for revenge now quenched, then she smiled as he lay and groaned,

She loomed like a hunter playing with her prey, as she walked aside and picked up her phone.

“Hello 911? I’m reporting an emergency here, could you please try and make it here fast?

She gave them the address and calmly hung up, as her husband kept staring, aghast.

 

She turned to him and spoke in a cold whisper “Isn’t it amazing what stupidity makes you give?

You betrayed and played behind my back, and you thought I’d have the heart to forgive?

The police will come and put me behind bars, but I think I’ve achieved what I wanted to do,

I’ve given every woman in this world a precaution, from spending a lifetime of lies with you.”

 

A clutter of footsteps echoed from downstairs, as the door slammed open with a bang,

The room was bustling with people now, and then shouts of horror and disgust rang…

The clang of metal handcuffs locked into place, as she walked with them without a fight,

She looked at the traitor one last time, and her eerie laugh reverberated into the night.

 


Vanity and Vendetta.

She walked as if the ground beneath her feet begged for her to grace it with her essence. She held her head up high, as if she commanded the wind to blow only the right tresses of her hair, to make the trees bow down in front of her unparalleled beauty. She smiled as her bare feet kissed the white sands on the beach, she loved how her features overshadowed all the amazing beauty around her. She reached the edge of the shore, and glanced at her own reflection in the clear, blue sea and she thought to herself -How could God make anyone so beautiful?

He felt the earth crumbling beneath his feet, shattering like the thoughts in his mind at the prospect of living like he was incomplete. He kept his head bowed down, because the wind felt like razorblades cutting through his burnt skin, like it wished to weather whatever remained of his face and whatever was left within. Everything around him seemed to belittle his very existence, as if it mocked his will to live. He stared at his own reflection on the glass bottle in his hand and thought to himself- How could God make anyone so ugly?

*              *              *              *

Her reflection smiled back at her from the sea, she knew now how it was to really fall in love. Her mind went back to the time when she thought she knew what love meant, when she had found someone who looked like God’s perfect gift for her, her own little piece of heaven on earth. He had been the most beautiful person she had ever seen, and her love for him had grown for him until the day fate stepped in to ruin a thing of beauty. What had once been the canvas for an artist’s masterpiece of the perfect dream, now looked like a frozen nightmare with a terrible scream.

His reflection looked like a half finished sculpture that an artist had forgotten to complete. The face which looked like the perfect dream had now unraveled at the seams, the scars of the accident had marked permanent trails across a once beautiful terrain. He remembered the time she loved him for what he had once been, but once destiny destroyed his face and left it burnt, he remembered she turned away and never returned. The rage inside his head was building.

*              *              *              *

She had no regrets for leaving when the world around him was grieving. After all, how could he live with a face that constantly reminded him of what he had lost? Why would someone like her, chiseled to the definition of perfection choose to spend her life with an ugly, distorted being? As she got up to leave, she smiled and touched the water, leaving a ripple that spread across her entire reflection.

The anger inside his head corroded his thoughts more than his damaged face. He realized that her vanity was nothing but a mask of her insanity. The glass bottle in his hand was now quivering, his fists clasping it with uncontrollable rage.  The liquid inside the bottle rippled ferociously, reminiscent of the waves of anger inside his head, as the white sands beneath his feet grew warmer by the minute.

*         *        *

She started walking, and she watched her feet delicately sift through the soft sands. She looked up, and then she froze in horror. The beauty in all her features drained away in an instant. She had never looked more devastated.

He stood two steps away from her as he noticed her vanity melt away in seconds. He unscrewed the glass bottle containing the acid, and he smiled. He had never looked more beautiful.


Blame it on the Rain.

Lulled me into your arms, and I walked right in,
Nursed my soul to breathe, pulled me up from within,
Made promises you couldn’t keep, and I went on believing,
Told me there wasn’t a chance of you ever leaving.

And then the sun started setting, and the shadows grew long,
But you were around me, I knew nothing could go wrong,
But as the night went on, playing symphonies of pain,
You weren’t there at all, so I blamed it on the rain.

I waited and waited, so thoroughly agitated,
Hoping you would come, until the night abated.
But that night taught me a lesson, know what I found?
That I could survive among shadows without you around.

You or anyone at all, so I decided never again,
But these memories keep on repeating like some poem’s refrain.
So inspite of pushing all these dreams into the drain,
This soul aches for you, but I blame it on the rain.

It wasn’t easy to trust at first, it’s even harder now,
Knowing my secrets lie somewhere I’m no longer allowed,
I don’t know where to go and I don’t know what to say,
I’m scared someone else will hear my secrets and walk away.

The worst is you made it clear, you’re with some other guy,
And I wonder if there’s any reason that’s good enough to justify
what you’ve done, but atleast the facts are there simple and plain,
It’s destroyed everything in me, but I  blame it on the rain.

I hope you get everything, everything in the future I had seen,
And I hope you learn to live, without what we both could’ve been.
And I hope that in my memories, you’re nothing but a stain,
If that doesn’t happen, well, I will blame it on the rain.