Teenaged Lameness- Part 1

I’m sure there are so many guys who’ve had to deal,

with a problem like this, and would know how I feel.

You’re just roaming around like on any other day,

and then this really pretty girl comes up your way.


You strike a pose like Johnny Bravo at his best,

to fate what’ll follow, you leave all the rest.

I had the same experience, just hanging by my place,

she gracefully walked by me, left me in a daze.


“Hey there beautiful, care to join me for dinner?

Cause I’ve never had one with a Miss Universe winner!”

She laughed out, then said “I would love to, but see…”

“Uh huh, no arguing, I’ve taken it that you agree.”


And then suddenly from nowhere, this shadow fell on me,

What made it this dark, I turned back to see.

There he was, lumbering, above 6 feet 3.

Huge rippling muscles, everywhere I could see.


“That’s my girl you talking to, you dirty little sneak.”

All that escaped my mouth- A high pitched “eeeeeek!”

I loudly screamed “Popcorn, popcorn a packet for Rs 10!”

Yeah very stupid of me. (I wasn’t carrying any then.)


He raised his arm sky high, all I heard was *BOOM*.

When I woke up next, I was back in my room.

Mom walked in then said, “I found you flat on the street,

you looked mashed and run over by a raging stampede.


You were lying still muttering, you sounded Japanese,

Your left eye’s swollen, were you like, attacked by bees?”

“Nothing Mom” I mumbled, I ripped the left shoe’s sole,

I was running like an idiot, rammed my head into a pole.


I wanted my revenge, I had planned it in my head,

But the last thing I wanted, was to get out off bed.

The next day I felt better, I went back to that place,

I hardly looked myself, (Thanks to the swollen face.)


The guy came after hours, stood by a crossing near my bush,

And as a car came from the left, I stood up and gave him a push.

He stumbled, got hit, flew 10 feet in the sand,

He was screaming with fury, holding his now fractured right hand!


I was so elated, so I called that girl once more,

Her boyfriend came from behind, enraged to the core.

I looked at him and teased “Awww.. Big boy’s bone went crunch?

I’m gonna flirt with your girlfriend, how the hell will you punch?”


He stood there and laughed “Oh you’re acting all hefty?

If you’d seen my earlier punch, you’d remember I’m lefty.”

As his left hand rose again, I just wanted to cry,

*WHAM*Never saw so many stars in the sky.


Then I woke up at home, shit, TWICE I was creamed,

“I’ll get you next time!” I diabolically screamed.

But I’d done some damage, I should have given him a warning,

for weeks he couldn’t lift the mug to wash his shit in the morning.


Some kind of reward, certainly doesn’t hurt much I guess,

Well whatever happens… happens for the best. (Ouch.)


About thedevastateddreamer

The world is on its knees. How far can you crawl? View all posts by thedevastateddreamer

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